Saturday, October 10, 2009

A gloomy start

To start a new life after being in a comfort zone is a tough one.I'm not an optimist nor a pessimist.I'm trying to be optimistic but I'm afraid that I will get hurt for being too optimist..But deep inside,no matter how I try to control myself, I still have this urge to hope that things will go as how I want it to be.Well,it's normal since we are humans..sigh~but the thing is that most of the times,things don't go as what we had hoped for.

I'm more of a pessimist I must say. A crybaby. An emotional one. Perhaps I grew up watching all this drama in life where all the injustice,hypocrisy n egoism prevailed. And the drama is still ongoing..I did question "Ya Allah,why me?" but in the end I try to accept all these tests to be a better person and a way that God loves me..

Anna is an initial of names while Sayuri is lily in japanese.I like lily.I like the pureness,the beauty of it..thats how I came up with this name.I dont know whether this blog will even have a reader.I dont care.Nah,of course I care.But in the end,I dont mind though..

I'm a loner.I've always been one. I'm cold yet warm.I dunno.People say dat I'm warm which I don't think so since I dont have many frens and people dont seem to like me coz I've no money,no beauty and not popular??I dont know.Perhaps of bad feng shui or karma or people just dont like me that much.

I hope I will be happy.I hope I can find my happiness.I hope I wont get hurt.I hope I can smile beamingly once again and find pure happines and calm..

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