What a complicated life!!

I know my new blog is kinda boring since there is not a single picture except that big lily.I miss my old blog..I did try to upload some pic but I cant find enough time to do that!!!I am so damn tired.There are some teachers at school that just passed their works to me (they are just easy works,mind u!!) and in the end they get the credits and Im the one dat do all the hard works.kalo dpt jd permanent xpela gak...huhu..but I pray that all these sufferings will come to end..

Exam is around the corner..there are books to be marked and the school holiday is near..I mean,cptnye!!!! mcm baru je msuk keje bln 3 hr tu...but no matter how tiring the work is,how stressfull i am with all the workloads n the kids..I am happy..Im happy with this job..the satisfaction to see my students excel in term of the results, their confidence level..I mean,I am proud to see they do their presentation so well after they listened to my comments..Im happy to see my students antics..sometimes,when I am scolding them,they just make jokes as if they are trying to be innocents and sometimes they turned up funny and I try so hard to not laugh at them as I am supposed to be angry!!

I xknow whether I will be at the same school next year..I xthink I will be this happy if I work in an audit firm or at other place..damn..Im gonna miss them..

And Im still waiting for a good news.....I am confused..ntahla..I xwant to think abt it now..I am so tired n sleepy..I went to see my bro and my mom didnt want to take turn to drive my car..i woke up early today..so yes,im tired..I know for sure that im going to be 'dead' when I lay down to my bed,snuggle with my bantal busuk..ahh...this is the real satisfaction...hehe..

bz,bz

I have so much to say but the time constraints really piss me off...wish I can have more time to focus on my blog..Even nak upload gbr dr hp pun xde mase lg..

But sometimes,ada masa pun,lth,nak rest la plak..haha.what a life..

Im waiting for my new baby..cant wait!! OMG,im sooo happy..kalo baby sndiri yg real2 tu lgla kan..hehe.ni lgla bende jek..

So,will post more when Im free..hehe.am trying to improve n beautify my blog..want to put the chat box,but ada ke org nak chat??what the hell..

So,now it's raining..so Im officially want to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....tomorrow is monday n monday sucks...huhu.

Adios...

Undescriable..

I love my ex..I dont deny it.I really do.But somehow,no matter how I love him, I broke up with him..I dont know how he does it but he really wants to erase me out of his life..yet he put our pic together in fb..I know I'm being selfish but he was my friend,the closest one since I dont have many frens..The reality is he was part of my life and he will forever be coz he is..I even dreamed before that I would settle down with him..

Was I being cruel to him??I did have this thought whether I did the right decision..hell yeah I cried a lot..I miss him so much..I broke up with him,my first bf after 4 years of courtship..I realized that I am so lonely..but I was hurt so much..I had this insecurities that I tried to deny..countless heartbreaks n fights that were never solved coz he  never want to talk!!I tried so hard to keep our relationship apart but it takes two to succeed....

It's been 3months and a week since the breakup..I'm opening a new chapter in my life..I try to be strong eventhough I know it will be difficult..

I was given a new hope after the breakup with a man I barely knew eventhough I knew him way back then but...too many confusions and questions to be answered..yet I'm hoping as usual..I dont know..Perhaps now I need some good sleep rather than crack my head open..sweet dream y'all..

zzzzzz.....................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................

btw,I bought a new clock today.It's digital,big and it's new..so thats means I have a clock in my room again which will make my life way much easier since I dont have to look to my hp,my watch in order to check on times when I'm in my room.So,a good news I supposed??haha!!

undeniable yet still hoping..

It's undeniable that people seldom admit that they lie.Yet they still give us hope.I dont know why..I was given a hope and as usual,we hope that things will be as what we hoped for.I'm still waiting.But it's also undeniable that perhaps that hope is dashed..But I'm still hoping by looking at my inbox messages and by having a lil bit of trust of his words..

A bit of morning post here.Since it's a new start,perhaps today will make up my day.haha!

A gloomy start

To start a new life after being in a comfort zone is a tough one.I'm not an optimist nor a pessimist.I'm trying to be optimistic but I'm afraid that I will get hurt for being too optimist..But deep inside,no matter how I try to control myself, I still have this urge to hope that things will go as how I want it to be.Well,it's normal since we are humans..sigh~but the thing is that most of the times,things don't go as what we had hoped for.

I'm more of a pessimist I must say. A crybaby. An emotional one. Perhaps I grew up watching all this drama in life where all the injustice,hypocrisy n egoism prevailed. And the drama is still ongoing..I did question "Ya Allah,why me?" but in the end I try to accept all these tests to be a better person and a way that God loves me..

Anna is an initial of names while Sayuri is lily in japanese.I like lily.I like the pureness,the beauty of it..thats how I came up with this name.I dont know whether this blog will even have a reader.I dont care.Nah,of course I care.But in the end,I dont mind though..

I'm a loner.I've always been one. I'm cold yet warm.I dunno.People say dat I'm warm which I don't think so since I dont have many frens and people dont seem to like me coz I've no money,no beauty and not popular??I dont know.Perhaps of bad feng shui or karma or people just dont like me that much.

I hope I will be happy.I hope I can find my happiness.I hope I wont get hurt.I hope I can smile beamingly once again and find pure happines and calm..