A New Phase

How time flies..

I didn't write for such a long time..

Have been busy with works etc..

Free times was filled with houseworks and sleep..hehe

Okay~

5th April 2014 will be a date to remember since it was the day I got engaged :)

With a person I never thought will be my fiance..

With a person I never talked to though we were coursemates :)

I have always been heartbroken before.I was given false hopes. I was given sweet lies.

Somehow, out of the blue, we communicated in FB. Somehow,he was fun to chat with.Somehow, we were getting closer.

This guy whom I used to,well..see from far.. (well,i was not that friendly and he was kind of cute~hahaha)

He was memorable because he was riding this one bike and tall..and he was quiet~ I mean,he rarely spoke to the girls back then.

Getting to know him day by day makes me realise what kind of a man he is.The sensitive side of him.The funny side of him.The naughty side of him.

He shows me this kind of happiness that I have been yearning for such a long time.

He never proposed. (Though he once said he would do this one proposal video) ceyhhh~

When the 'merisik' ceremony was done and his mother put the ring into my finger, I was happy. I am still happy though.

It is a different feeling being a fiancee.

Though we are yet to marry, at least, we know,we are going into that direction.

I am happy.
I am blessed.

Dear My Fiance,Dzulkifli bin Alip..

Thank you.

I am getting forward towards our new life as husband and wife.

:)

The unspoken

Salam..It's been a while since the last post..

Well, I was quite bz n though I had some free times,the times were used for er, personal time?huhuhu

See, how to put this in words..

For the 1st times in months, I am very happy..
For the 1st times in months, I am blessed to be heard..
For the 1st times in months, I am finally able to smile for unknown reason
For the 1st times in months, I got to laugh bcoz of jokes that sometimes can be so silly..

The list goes on..but 1 thing for sure..I am happy..

But seriously, I am not sure how this feelings will continue to feel this way..I hope it will just stay put coz I'm done with all this emo-thingy..Seriously..

But then, life seriously cn be unfair..See, my life has never been so smooth..And I am so trying hard to be as positive as I can be..And maybe bcoz I had gone through so much that I felt,as long as I have tried and put my efforts into it,I just have to be 'redha'? I don't know..hmmm..Who am I to question the qada and qadar..

Maybe I am just tired to think about the possibilities or I am just enjoying the moment..

But, I am thankful that for some reasons, I am happy..

And so, to that 1 person, Thank u..I am happy :)

Je t'aime~

Salam..It has been a while since I updated this blog.

Hmm..for those who don't understand the meaning of the title,please translate it from English to French ya..hehe

Well, it's not that I am loving someone (except well,my mom,my brother,my car etc..). Love is subjective..And how we define our feeling towards the person (or persons). Sometimes we misunderstood care for love..Sometimes we misunderstood lust for love..Sometimes we misunderstood admiration for love..

See, I'm a LOSER in this kind of things.I don't have much experience in this..But I know the feelings of care..Thinking back, did I really love him? Coz now, I feel like I'm not. Or maybe I did but the feelings of hurt and sadness made me feel like that..Seriously,I don't know..

But I hope for one. That is for eternity. Perhaps I wont understand the feeling of love until I really meant for it. That is MARRIAGE..God is great..And I am trying so damn hard to think positively (although I do think negative all the time)

For me,everything happens for a reason. I'm done with the crying stuff (though I still do sometimes). But I must admit, you can't possibly erase the memories or the feelings towards that person ever. I really mean that. Once a person knocks a heart, it stays. And though the person may be gone, the scars will be there. And it will haunt you for the rest of your life.

But the question is there, how are you going to treat the scar? Are you going to cry hysterically or beat yourself up? I must say, just move on..And if you must go back,then go back to where you should be.

I've been there and done that. And it hurt like hell..

But still, though how I shut myself up from being knocked or touched, still,this heart is well,being knocked and touched again and again..

And though I may be hurt again or happy, I'm not in the position to argue. Who am I to fight the destiny that have been written in Lul Mahfuz..

At least the memories make me smile,make me cry,make me realise how stupid I was and appreciate life more..

See, "Yesterday is a history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift....That's why it's called a Present" (this quotes is from Kung Fu Panda ya..)

So, I'm just enjoying the moment. And hopefully, I just can say Je t'aime (in English okay..hehe) to the person who deserves it. Insya Allah :)

So, Tu m'aimes? hehehe..well~just asking..haha

Kesiannye...

Salam and Hepi Wednesday (korang xpelik ke hr2 ade post br?? sy LAGI pelik ;p )

Today is a bad day..I mean seriously tiring with unexpected workloads and lots of unnecessary attention..

hmmm..

Dalam tengah2 bz ni la dengar budak nangis,dengar bunyi rotan,tengok budak kena denda..haih..

And seriously..SAYA SANGAT TAK BOLEH NAK CONCENTRATE!!

 Xkesahla orang nak cakap ape..tetap xsmpai hati..bukan anak sendiri pon,tetap rasa sakit..tetap rasa kesian..tiap kali dengar bunyi rotan tu kena kat bdn budak tu,ish..kalo ikut macam nak gi jek halang..(tapi xberani la plak nak halang..nnt dgn cikgu cute neh kene rotan..ouchh! )

Well, this is just my opinion..I'm not really supporting this kind of punishment..Sometimes,yeah,maybe..but too hard on them is not a good thing ya..

Maybe because they are still kids that makes me feel so xsmpai hati cmtu..(pttla kena buli dgn budak)

But then, like I said earlier, I dare not to comment too many coz well, I can't predict the future..Skali tgk pukul kalah mak tiri..hehe..xla..insya Allah tak camtu :)

So,the conclusion is, len kali budak2 kalo nak buat hal,sila buat di hari yg tcer tak bz okeh? hehehe..tetibe ;p

A bit of afternoon post to release all the negative energies...(smbil berangan tengah di bilik hotel menikmati aircon yang sejuk sambil dilayan bak puteri gitu..) kahkahkah...berangan xhengat ;p

The-not-so-strong Me

Salam and Happy Wednesday

Okay..I'm freaking out..Well, I never knew this would turn out so hard..Well, I was expecting it but I never expect it to be so damn hard.

I admit I am weak. I admit I am good but I am a total loser on how to teach them..

I was seriously confident I can change or even improve them but seriously, I think I am a failure...

Tetibe rasa sgt2 down..

Buat apa pon sume xelok..sume xjadi..

Bestnye kalo dapat gi vacation..xde masalah kerja..enjoy jek..tapi xnak la sorg2..sorg2 karang kena kidnap lak..bahaye~~hehehe...

Seriously, my dream vacation is going to a beach (I mean,seriously beautiful beach ala2 perhentian or sipadan), watching the sunset and sunrise..ecewah...len kali nk honeymoon sane la..hahaha..

Okay..I'm a bit close to insanity..(well,literally...bkn la insane btol2..huhu)

So,the conclusion is, I'm trying to be strong in what I do best. To be an EDUCATOR.. ( tp bl ajar bdk2 beh jd mcm ala2 mummy pon ade..adeh)

Well, c'est la vie..as what the french say..hmmm..

A Dream

Salam and Happy Tuesday ( tak hepi pon buat2 hepi je okay? :D )

U know, I must admit. I really do want to get married..kiki..(btol la..ngaku jek..haha ;p) 

But then, in order to get married,one has to find a partner first la kan??hoho..

U know, hehe..time zaman jahiliah dl (skrg pon jahil lg..huhu) brangan xhengat kunun2 nk laki cmni cmtu..ni adalah ciri2 time zaman jahiliah (hehehe ;p)

1. tinggi (of cos la..i kan tggi..kiki)
2. hensem..okla..xhensem sgt pon xpe..tp jgnla huduh sgt
3. xnk kuyus sgt (well,best nk peluk ape..kiki)
4. ala2 macho gitu (xkn la nak mcm auw2 kot...xnk la..)

Tapi tu dulu..sekarang list tu dh ubah...well,no 1 tu msih kekal la kan..hehe..tapi,the main priority is a man that can lead his wife...mestila ke arah kebaikan..takkan keburukan kot..

Dan kalau leh,nak kekal sampai ke jannah..

Well,ni bukan ciri2 yang sy sorg je nak..except the no.1 tu la..yg tu ciri2 yang saya nak..hehe..xhensem xpe..janji hensem di mata si isteri..kiki..Semua wanita kena impikan dan doakan untuk mendapat lelaki yang baik..janji seorang laki yang menghormati,menghargai dan membimbing wanita ke arah yang lebih baik..kan?

Dengan tu,barulah leh jadi isteri yang mithali..kan?


Barulah leh dapat anak yang soleh dan solehah..kan?

So, yes, I am a woman full of sin but I'm hoping that I can finally find my husband for life and insya Allah, in heaven :)

So,how about you?

The Perception

Salam and Happy Morning (since today is Monday blues to everyone including me! ) hehe

Hmm..Do u ever think what kind of perception of people towards us?

I do. I think people may think I am sombong and garang ( sbnrnye xla sombong pon kalo dh knl..ye x?hoho..garang2 pon rsnye harap jerkah suara kuat je kot..huhu)

Well, I am an observer..I judge people from my observation..Sometimes, perception can be deceiving..Memang apa yang kita nampak tu tak betul pun..Kita rasa kita tau dan faham tp tak pun..

As for me, biarla orang cakap saya ni sombong asalkan saya mesra dan friendly to person that I care of..biarla orang cakap saya ni garang asalkan saya garang kerana kebaikan..tp still xsmpai ht gak..huhu...

People can have bad perceptions about me, but I don't really care..hah!!NMPK SGT MENIPU..Memangla amik kesah...Tapi xdela kesah smpai tahap fanatik..

I had an experience when people misunderstood my point during a conversation and it ended up by I got scolded up..And seriously, I don't think I am at fault..I am just voicing out my opinion in the humorous kind of way..Apsal yg tetibe nk mrh...Thus lead us to ego...What's in an ego that made u feel u should act like that? Even if I am wrong in replying or conforming to ur point, then do u have to cpt melatah?? I seriously DO understand ur point and I DO gave my point as what u were talking..It's just that u are looking (or understand) in a perspective on ur own..A point can be looked at many views...Even a picture can bring different meanings depending on the viewer..

It did sadden me..Bkn sedih apa..Sedih pasal sikap orang. Orang leh berubah atau jadi sseorg yg ntahla..

A bit of afternoon post..

I only care about the perception of people that I care ya...

So, I'm taking this in a positive way :)