happy..?

Happy?? xknow how to describe it..

Who am I???

To whom should I trust??should I trust my instinct?or what i see?or what I heard?

Am I too easy to be pleased?or easy to be taken advantage of?or am I just a plain idiot who is so adamant in believing what I think is right??or am I just a plain ignorant??

I want to be happy. I really am..I want to be..me...I want us to be us..Is it me who should sacrifice?? I am holding to this one promise to this one person..I should never give up on him..never..should one day,he wants to leave or somebody wants him, I must fight for him..N so does he..Dat is why I never give up hopes..I am fighting,fighting and fighting..Eventhough I feel really tired n as if I have no dignity, I am still fighting..

But I did give up hope once..But yet,I was given a hope back at a time when I just gave up..N being a human being, I believe and wait for it to happen again..A hope that I'm still waiting for it to happen..

Is it my fault??Why am I putting myself in a position that will make myself to be..sad??

Crying n crying..the pain..i wish he knows..does he??or he just being ignorant??I want to hate him..I really do..I hate him..n then I realised..I love him..I really do..to hear him say those words..I'm happy..to hear his voice..I miss him so much..I love him so much..I wish he knows it..maybe he does..maybe he hates me..maybe he loves me..I dont know..I just hope one day I will be happy..

Dear God,pls give me strength..pls make my journey in this world to be smooth..

Still..I love him..