A New Phase

How time flies..

I didn't write for such a long time..

Have been busy with works etc..

Free times was filled with houseworks and sleep..hehe

Okay~

5th April 2014 will be a date to remember since it was the day I got engaged :)

With a person I never thought will be my fiance..

With a person I never talked to though we were coursemates :)

I have always been heartbroken before.I was given false hopes. I was given sweet lies.

Somehow, out of the blue, we communicated in FB. Somehow,he was fun to chat with.Somehow, we were getting closer.

This guy whom I used to,well..see from far.. (well,i was not that friendly and he was kind of cute~hahaha)

He was memorable because he was riding this one bike and tall..and he was quiet~ I mean,he rarely spoke to the girls back then.

Getting to know him day by day makes me realise what kind of a man he is.The sensitive side of him.The funny side of him.The naughty side of him.

He shows me this kind of happiness that I have been yearning for such a long time.

He never proposed. (Though he once said he would do this one proposal video) ceyhhh~

When the 'merisik' ceremony was done and his mother put the ring into my finger, I was happy. I am still happy though.

It is a different feeling being a fiancee.

Though we are yet to marry, at least, we know,we are going into that direction.

I am happy.
I am blessed.

Dear My Fiance,Dzulkifli bin Alip..

Thank you.

I am getting forward towards our new life as husband and wife.

:)

The unspoken

Salam..It's been a while since the last post..

Well, I was quite bz n though I had some free times,the times were used for er, personal time?huhuhu

See, how to put this in words..

For the 1st times in months, I am very happy..
For the 1st times in months, I am blessed to be heard..
For the 1st times in months, I am finally able to smile for unknown reason
For the 1st times in months, I got to laugh bcoz of jokes that sometimes can be so silly..

The list goes on..but 1 thing for sure..I am happy..

But seriously, I am not sure how this feelings will continue to feel this way..I hope it will just stay put coz I'm done with all this emo-thingy..Seriously..

But then, life seriously cn be unfair..See, my life has never been so smooth..And I am so trying hard to be as positive as I can be..And maybe bcoz I had gone through so much that I felt,as long as I have tried and put my efforts into it,I just have to be 'redha'? I don't know..hmmm..Who am I to question the qada and qadar..

Maybe I am just tired to think about the possibilities or I am just enjoying the moment..

But, I am thankful that for some reasons, I am happy..

And so, to that 1 person, Thank u..I am happy :)

Je t'aime~

Salam..It has been a while since I updated this blog.

Hmm..for those who don't understand the meaning of the title,please translate it from English to French ya..hehe

Well, it's not that I am loving someone (except well,my mom,my brother,my car etc..). Love is subjective..And how we define our feeling towards the person (or persons). Sometimes we misunderstood care for love..Sometimes we misunderstood lust for love..Sometimes we misunderstood admiration for love..

See, I'm a LOSER in this kind of things.I don't have much experience in this..But I know the feelings of care..Thinking back, did I really love him? Coz now, I feel like I'm not. Or maybe I did but the feelings of hurt and sadness made me feel like that..Seriously,I don't know..

But I hope for one. That is for eternity. Perhaps I wont understand the feeling of love until I really meant for it. That is MARRIAGE..God is great..And I am trying so damn hard to think positively (although I do think negative all the time)

For me,everything happens for a reason. I'm done with the crying stuff (though I still do sometimes). But I must admit, you can't possibly erase the memories or the feelings towards that person ever. I really mean that. Once a person knocks a heart, it stays. And though the person may be gone, the scars will be there. And it will haunt you for the rest of your life.

But the question is there, how are you going to treat the scar? Are you going to cry hysterically or beat yourself up? I must say, just move on..And if you must go back,then go back to where you should be.

I've been there and done that. And it hurt like hell..

But still, though how I shut myself up from being knocked or touched, still,this heart is well,being knocked and touched again and again..

And though I may be hurt again or happy, I'm not in the position to argue. Who am I to fight the destiny that have been written in Lul Mahfuz..

At least the memories make me smile,make me cry,make me realise how stupid I was and appreciate life more..

See, "Yesterday is a history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift....That's why it's called a Present" (this quotes is from Kung Fu Panda ya..)

So, I'm just enjoying the moment. And hopefully, I just can say Je t'aime (in English okay..hehe) to the person who deserves it. Insya Allah :)

So, Tu m'aimes? hehehe..well~just asking..haha

Kesiannye...

Salam and Hepi Wednesday (korang xpelik ke hr2 ade post br?? sy LAGI pelik ;p )

Today is a bad day..I mean seriously tiring with unexpected workloads and lots of unnecessary attention..

hmmm..

Dalam tengah2 bz ni la dengar budak nangis,dengar bunyi rotan,tengok budak kena denda..haih..

And seriously..SAYA SANGAT TAK BOLEH NAK CONCENTRATE!!

 Xkesahla orang nak cakap ape..tetap xsmpai hati..bukan anak sendiri pon,tetap rasa sakit..tetap rasa kesian..tiap kali dengar bunyi rotan tu kena kat bdn budak tu,ish..kalo ikut macam nak gi jek halang..(tapi xberani la plak nak halang..nnt dgn cikgu cute neh kene rotan..ouchh! )

Well, this is just my opinion..I'm not really supporting this kind of punishment..Sometimes,yeah,maybe..but too hard on them is not a good thing ya..

Maybe because they are still kids that makes me feel so xsmpai hati cmtu..(pttla kena buli dgn budak)

But then, like I said earlier, I dare not to comment too many coz well, I can't predict the future..Skali tgk pukul kalah mak tiri..hehe..xla..insya Allah tak camtu :)

So,the conclusion is, len kali budak2 kalo nak buat hal,sila buat di hari yg tcer tak bz okeh? hehehe..tetibe ;p

A bit of afternoon post to release all the negative energies...(smbil berangan tengah di bilik hotel menikmati aircon yang sejuk sambil dilayan bak puteri gitu..) kahkahkah...berangan xhengat ;p

The-not-so-strong Me

Salam and Happy Wednesday

Okay..I'm freaking out..Well, I never knew this would turn out so hard..Well, I was expecting it but I never expect it to be so damn hard.

I admit I am weak. I admit I am good but I am a total loser on how to teach them..

I was seriously confident I can change or even improve them but seriously, I think I am a failure...

Tetibe rasa sgt2 down..

Buat apa pon sume xelok..sume xjadi..

Bestnye kalo dapat gi vacation..xde masalah kerja..enjoy jek..tapi xnak la sorg2..sorg2 karang kena kidnap lak..bahaye~~hehehe...

Seriously, my dream vacation is going to a beach (I mean,seriously beautiful beach ala2 perhentian or sipadan), watching the sunset and sunrise..ecewah...len kali nk honeymoon sane la..hahaha..

Okay..I'm a bit close to insanity..(well,literally...bkn la insane btol2..huhu)

So,the conclusion is, I'm trying to be strong in what I do best. To be an EDUCATOR.. ( tp bl ajar bdk2 beh jd mcm ala2 mummy pon ade..adeh)

Well, c'est la vie..as what the french say..hmmm..

A Dream

Salam and Happy Tuesday ( tak hepi pon buat2 hepi je okay? :D )

U know, I must admit. I really do want to get married..kiki..(btol la..ngaku jek..haha ;p) 

But then, in order to get married,one has to find a partner first la kan??hoho..

U know, hehe..time zaman jahiliah dl (skrg pon jahil lg..huhu) brangan xhengat kunun2 nk laki cmni cmtu..ni adalah ciri2 time zaman jahiliah (hehehe ;p)

1. tinggi (of cos la..i kan tggi..kiki)
2. hensem..okla..xhensem sgt pon xpe..tp jgnla huduh sgt
3. xnk kuyus sgt (well,best nk peluk ape..kiki)
4. ala2 macho gitu (xkn la nak mcm auw2 kot...xnk la..)

Tapi tu dulu..sekarang list tu dh ubah...well,no 1 tu msih kekal la kan..hehe..tapi,the main priority is a man that can lead his wife...mestila ke arah kebaikan..takkan keburukan kot..

Dan kalau leh,nak kekal sampai ke jannah..

Well,ni bukan ciri2 yang sy sorg je nak..except the no.1 tu la..yg tu ciri2 yang saya nak..hehe..xhensem xpe..janji hensem di mata si isteri..kiki..Semua wanita kena impikan dan doakan untuk mendapat lelaki yang baik..janji seorang laki yang menghormati,menghargai dan membimbing wanita ke arah yang lebih baik..kan?

Dengan tu,barulah leh jadi isteri yang mithali..kan?


Barulah leh dapat anak yang soleh dan solehah..kan?

So, yes, I am a woman full of sin but I'm hoping that I can finally find my husband for life and insya Allah, in heaven :)

So,how about you?

The Perception

Salam and Happy Morning (since today is Monday blues to everyone including me! ) hehe

Hmm..Do u ever think what kind of perception of people towards us?

I do. I think people may think I am sombong and garang ( sbnrnye xla sombong pon kalo dh knl..ye x?hoho..garang2 pon rsnye harap jerkah suara kuat je kot..huhu)

Well, I am an observer..I judge people from my observation..Sometimes, perception can be deceiving..Memang apa yang kita nampak tu tak betul pun..Kita rasa kita tau dan faham tp tak pun..

As for me, biarla orang cakap saya ni sombong asalkan saya mesra dan friendly to person that I care of..biarla orang cakap saya ni garang asalkan saya garang kerana kebaikan..tp still xsmpai ht gak..huhu...

People can have bad perceptions about me, but I don't really care..hah!!NMPK SGT MENIPU..Memangla amik kesah...Tapi xdela kesah smpai tahap fanatik..

I had an experience when people misunderstood my point during a conversation and it ended up by I got scolded up..And seriously, I don't think I am at fault..I am just voicing out my opinion in the humorous kind of way..Apsal yg tetibe nk mrh...Thus lead us to ego...What's in an ego that made u feel u should act like that? Even if I am wrong in replying or conforming to ur point, then do u have to cpt melatah?? I seriously DO understand ur point and I DO gave my point as what u were talking..It's just that u are looking (or understand) in a perspective on ur own..A point can be looked at many views...Even a picture can bring different meanings depending on the viewer..

It did sadden me..Bkn sedih apa..Sedih pasal sikap orang. Orang leh berubah atau jadi sseorg yg ntahla..

A bit of afternoon post..

I only care about the perception of people that I care ya...

So, I'm taking this in a positive way :)

The Punishment

Salam..

Hmm..While I was teaching this morning, I heard something and for me, it was hurtful..Imagine the sound of people got hit..Kadang2 xtau nak cakap mcm mana..Pukul susah, tak pukul susah. 

The environment in Tamil school is different ya..I already know about this while I was doing my SBE (School Based Experience)..But there was no such thing happened in that school..I just heard from friends. So, to finally experience it now, well,it has been expected but to really SEE and LISTEN..now that's NEW..huhu..In Tamil school, the punishment is kinda strict and sometimes really strict. The teachers sgt senang bagi penampar,pukulan dan rotan..Mcm ala-ala kasar dan tegas nak ajar dan hukum bdk2..hmmm..

Tapi,sgt2 respect bila budak2 sgt hormat cikgu2..kalau ckp ke apa,mesti jwb ya or tcer..xada angguk2 jek..And I learned that they really respect their teachers that they will sometimes come back to the school even after they left the school..And the parents xkesah pon anak2 dorg kena hukum mcm mana.

I am not in any position to judge. For me, ada kebaikan dan keburukan..

Kadang2 bila terlalu lembut pun susah pasal budak2 akan pijak balik kepala kita. hmm..Bila keras sgt, takut ganggu psikologi dorg..Takut makin memberontak etc..Lagi2 kat bdk2 yg besar sikit. Sebab tu ada insiden tayar pancit etc..

I don't know..I just know that I am the xsmpai hati punya cikgu..Tak cakap diri ni baik tapi setakat ni, tak pernah lagi buat bdk2 nangis psl kena pukul..Dengan mulut pernah..Yang tu rasa best la plak..hehe..Pasal masa marah2 dan bagi nasihat tu, dorg leh nangis..ecewah..dasat ayat yang kuar tu..kiki..

For me, I like to treat them like a friend (nak ckp layan mcm anak sendiri tapi rasa mcm muda jek nak anggap diri mcm ibu dorg..hohoho)..But yes, they do pijak blk kepala neh..That's why they are not really scared of me..But I'm hoping that they respect me rather than afraid or scared..

Well, as for me,perasan garang jek..Garang xsgt pon..Dengar bdk kena pukul pon leh rasa kesian. Nak buat sndr tu cmnela..Sangat respect kat cikgu disiplin..huhu

Maybe it's my instinct or maybe it's just me. Lain kali anak sendiri xtaula cmne..Seriously, I can understand the feelings of a mother..Bak kata orang, cubit peha kiri, peha kanan pon terasa (btol ke??blasah jek..hehe)

Isn't a woman great? Camne lembutnya hati seorang wanita walau sekeras mana pon nampak. That's why I can't understand how a woman can abandon her child..Maybe she has her own reason tp bl 9 bulan anak tu dengan kita, beranak dengan penuh kesakitan dan dengar suara tangisan bayi tu, hati ibu mana2 pon ttp akan tersentuh..

So, seriously, I don't know. Maybe for me, a mixture of hard and soft punishment may do..I just think if we are serious and care about them, they will know and they will respect us.

Still, I don't know...huhu!!

I promote English okay~~

Salam..

Hmmmm...haih....Now that's not a gud way to start rite?hehe...Well..I'm losing my mind here..Seriously,I am struggling..

I admit though my English is quite good (ecece..mcm ada unsur menunjuk di situ :p) but then to teach people to be good at it is different.. Especially in place or community where the importance of English is quite neglected.

I don't know. I'm not sure how to comment. I am blessed that my mom exposed English to my brother and I since little..I am blessed that I love to read since my parents made it a habit for us to do so. For me, family does bring an impact to a child's life..

However, some person whose parents are illiterate managed to succeed too. And I am sure,since the parents are illiterate, they are not the ones who teach their children at home rite?

Hmm, so in the end, it's up to our determination. How bad we want to succeed, how good we want to be.

(Rasa lapar la plak tgh taip2 neh...kan best kalo time ni ada bf dtg htr lunch ala2 citer hong kong tu? ;p)

Now, as a person who is involved in language-English particularly, maybe u want to try out this methods..Who knows it might help u..A small improvement is better than none..Hopefully it will help u all ya..

1. Start young : If possible during ur pregnancy..hehe..well, quite ridiculous rite? but hey, it is proven now that baby responds even while in the womb. (Sebab tu la, ibu mengandung disuruh banyak baca Al-Quran..) And continuous exposure to music will make the baby more alert...(tetibe rasa nak baby..kiki)

2. Early exposure : yeah..just like no. 1 u might think..but exposure is really important..Cartoons, series, books,magazines etc...( korang ingat tak, dulu2 macam tak ada sangat pon kartun2 dalam BM neh? sume stail English..adala sket..Keluang Man pon start 90-an cmtu..) Jadi, bila bdk2 neh dah biasa, jadi nak belajar pon sng tangkap.

3. Practise, practise and practise : Well, for me, miracle doesn't come overnight..No such fast or instant result. Nak kurus pon kena exercise nak bagi segala lemak2 tu cair..Ni kan lagi nak biasakan lidah tu yg dah berpuluh tahun ckp bhs ibunda kan?? U know, do u ever think why the banglas can speak BM? xkan dorg amik kelas BM kot?? So,for me, if u say, lidah punya pasal xleh nk wat,then, bullshit..Make it a habit to speak..Cer gi bank ckp english, cer gi supermarket ckp english..( this one is my advice to all students ya but of cos la not rojak punya English :p )

There are so many ways and being a new teacher, I am helpless and struggling to teach them. They are improving but mind u, it's really hard.

U know, while I am typing this post, I am wondering, rasa2 lain kali, untuk anak sendiri leh ke wat cmtu?

Leh jek :)

Btw, a bit of sesi menunjuk---> I can speak basic French, Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien and fluent bahasa Melayu..n now I know a bit of Tamil too..kiki..so, kalo nk mengata n kutuk2 tu,agak2 la sket ye ;p

A False Hope

People like hope..

A patient hopes for recovery

A mother hopes the best for her children

A single woman hopes for a loving husband

A single man hopes for an understanding wife

And the list goes on..

But then, why people give false hopes?

Sometimes,even though it might sounds ridiculous, people still find it hard to resist the temptation of being hopeful..

Isn't it hard to tell the truth? People might say the truth will make things worse..but isn't it much worse if the truth comes out? Isn't it few hundred times more hurtful?

I don't know..Maybe sometimes lies might be good..

As a pessimist as always, I'm done hoping..Just trying to move on with the hopes of life can be much better.
Still hoping,huh? hehe..Well, u are not a human being if u never have hopes in ur life..

As for now, I'm trying to be happy n crazy as I can be..(not that kind of crazy ya) huhu..

And hopefully,there's a silver lining for everything. Insya Allah :)

Hello..Who are you??

Salam..

By the power of magic, I managed to read some nasty comments and critics about me. (giler poyo ayt magic..hehe) Well, it's not that I don't accept criticism..but when it became 'fitnah' that one is totally intolerable..

Hmm.. Dalam hidup ni kan, tak pernah terfikir nak burukkan org lg2 yang pernah kita syg..So, when I knew that I was accused lots of things, I must say, I am sad..

Tak sangka kan, orang mengata dan memfitnah benda yg xbetul? Lagi2 bila kita xde peluang pun nak bela diri atau bgtau our side of the story..

Only me, him and Allah SWT know the truth..Tapi xpela..nak buat cmne kan..I forgive them.coz I'm hoping I can get my own happiness rather than holding grudge about them..

Well,that is not the story that I want to share..Tu baru mukadimah..hehe..Yeah,they are related but different a bit..

Okay..Siapakah kita nak judge org lain? nak nilai kita ni layak atau tidak? As for me, I'm so pissed if people question or say ----> cmnela dier leh jd cikgu dh perangai cmtu?

Excusez-moi~eyh..French lak tetibe..hehe..Excuse me, who are u to judge me? Are u in the same line as I am? Do u KNOW me? You ARE listening from the one side of story and that qualifies you to judge me what kind of teacher am I?

Call me anything but CAN you be a teacher? Out of many profession, I CHOSE to be a teacher bcoz of what?

You all must be thinking why I got pissed bcoz of this.. I AM..bcoz nobody will understand the joy n happiness that I feel of being one..

Ko nak kutuk aku xkesahla..nak fitnah ke hape..tu dosa ko..tapi to judge me?

Do you know how I cracked myself up just to make sure they can read? How happy I am to know that they can do it? How I laugh at them when they do something silly?

I'm teaching at a Tamil school..It is hard but I'm holding on. And I learned that no matter what colour they are, they are still children and I love them..The love of a TEACHER to her kids..u won't understand it..I might forget them or they might forget me..but the hopes that I have for them is limitless..

So, don't judge me..Well,org lain pun xyah la korg nak nilai..setiap pekerjaan ada kbaikan n keburukan..even tukg amik smpah pon sama..korg nak ke wat keje cmtu kalo dorg xde? xde kan?

So, who are we to judge people..xpela..janji niat kita betul..budak2 pon leh rasa kalo kita ikhlas..

I am a teacher..So what?

A man full of ego part 2~

I AM an observer. I like to observe people and it is interesting to see how idiot a man or woman can be sometimes. Well,in a way,it is good to observe people and learn more about them since psychologically, we can't act 24/7..In a way,sometimes even body languages can mean something.

Now let's look..From a woman's point of view, I really can't understand men. In a way though I can understand,it can be very confusing coz they can change in a blink of eye..

But for me, is ego plays a big part in a man's life? For example, during the get-to-know-u-session..A man is interested with a woman. So,the  ice-breaking session begins..later,the man realised she's not his type..So,he just ignore her after all the constant msgs and calls...and sometimes it ends up abruptly.. For me,it's not wrong..But as a person, can't u be more compassionate a bit? U gave person some hopes and u left her without any explanation..And mind u,if the gal asks him,the guy might answer in a very demeaning way..

Talking about ego,yeah..It's NOT that women don't have ego..Everybody has.It's just the matter of how high your ego can get u. If people criticised u but u can't accept it.That's ego..If u can't accept other people's point of view,that's ego too..It is just the matter of acceptance.

From my observation as a woman to kids..Well,as a woman,it's natural to have the motherly instinct..With my job, I get to be surrounded by kids. And it's hard not to get pissed. But it's hard not to laugh and smile too.. I remembered trying hard not to laugh at them coz they mispronounced some words. I smile when a boy tried hard to tell me what he saw the other day..Isn't it great to be a mom? I think it's great..And I would be lying to say I don't want to be one coz I do. I want to be one real bad. But then, how am I going to be one without a man??hehehe

Life is interesting,isn't it? How we can be so idiot at times. A man can be a total idiot thinking that woman is not meant for him only to realise that she is the one..The same goes to the woman.

As for me, I made mistakes. And it hurts like hell. I'm trying to get rid of the ego but of course we can't.So I'm just trying to lessen it up. I used to be an introvert but now, I think Im being more extrovert in a way..Is age plays a big role?hmmm...Perhaps being an extrovert can cheer me up in a way but still it can't change this pessimist gal into an optimist person..hohoho..Well, it seems today's entry is not about a man's ego after all huh?hehe..

So,I am trying to be happy. I am trying to accept some facts. I am improving myself.

So what's in an ego?

A man full of ego-part 1

The title is called part 1 coz it seems that I don't have enough time to write longer than 10 sentences (ye ke??hehe)

Yes, everyone has ego but for someone,men,to be specific can be so egoistic to the fact that it just made them look like idiots.

Well, u don't need to do something just to prove something coz it just made u look more like an IDIOT where in fact,it was n is obviously ur fault.

U don't have to say nonsense by confidently said as if u really know what I'd been thinking coz seriously,dude..U r just being an egoistically idiot..

And the most IMPORTANT THING!!! --------------> find a DICTIONARY or if u CAN'T find one, just GOOGLE and search the word EGO!!! (coz seriously,dude,u don't understand a bit of it though u are 1)

So ntahapahapantah!!!

Karang ckp bodossss mrh lak krg tapi terserlah dek konon2 xnak ngaku kalah n xleh trime kenyataan n komen org,lg terserlah kebodossssaann  itew~well,tu bkn ego bak pemahaman org itew


So,what,ego ko tggi melangit?agak2 r mamat..aku pon xhingin laki yg xleh hormat pompuan ~

The new post???hohoho

Salam uols..it has been a while since i updated this blog.I'm posted already by the ministry..It's a small and sleepy town..n its going to get tough to teach the pupils ya...OMG, tekanan wei jd sorang jek cikgu English neh..I was due to report for duty in like 2 days prior the result was out. N since Im yet to receive any salary yet,so no money to have the internet connection for myself..huhu..thus the rusted blog :p Well, though I'm homed during the weekend,I find it’s hard to resist the urge of laziness..laying around,watching tv..gosh,living without tv is so hard ya..I was like sooooo bored when I’m at home in Selama..rewinding all the animes..(nsb la ade,kalo x,keje men game jela..)

So now, in previous post I did mention abt list of items that I wish to buy when I get my salary. U know what? Dalam xde gaji utk berapa bulan ni la hp rosak (hrtu mmg dh ade tanda2 tp ketuk2 sket dier ok blk), handbag rosak etc..haih…

So I got myself a new fon..not really the type of fon that I want since the ones that I prefer are way beyond my budget (xde gaji means xde duit la kan,krg nk mkn ape???)

Okla…patah blk brand same since price wise it’s much cheaper wif the same kind of function like the expensive ones..(tp teringin gak nak pakai blackberry or htc…uwaaa….leh x kalo kawin krg nk mtk hntaran cmtu??fuh fuh…larik sume potensi bakal suami.Wakaka :p)

And handbag…yeah…actually I have 2..the one that Im using now was bought I think this year gak..around March I think..cantik n murah..ehem..RM20 je…tp Giamax okeh..it’s so true that u cant buy items that are given discount too many or best buy yg murah thp gaban…tgk brand la kan..My aunt who is in this sales industry said that those kind of items dh nk expire dh..cpt rosak(she said..not me). I thot I cn survive till next year to buy a new one but the handbag spare ni lg nyawa2 ikan…dush!

And so when I went to buy a new handbag, I thot of buying a cheap one. But in the end, 3keping duit biru gak lps…huhu!!!! Coz dh beli,beli yg elok tros kan?haih…n that was an advice from my advisor aka my MOM!

Dalam xde duit,tetibe my mom showed me dis promotion for face facial…hmm…(b4 dis we chatted abt facial )

Mom asked me  :  Kak nak buat x?

Me                     : Mak buat la.

Mak                    : Xmau.kak buat sorg dahla..(smbil bgtau kat org tu )

Me                      : Ala,mak buat skali la…Akak byrkan…

But then, the result was not that good..Mom bought Kose’s skincare during the Jusco sales n though expensive,trserlah wei!!!!! Ni facial sket jek xde kesan pon…syg duit aku..huhu..

So, the conclusion is, Im soooo broke..haih…monthly bills can’t be stopped and my loan repayment is yet to be done..lame xbyr hutang ptptn tu..hmm…xpe,dpt gaji bayar ye,Juita ..

Psst…ade sape nk sponsor duit tiket wayang twilight x?? wakakaka :p

Working mode!!!

For the 1st time I felt so happy to finally have a job to do...Well,it's a job that is below my qualification and if possible,I don't want to do it..But for the sake of money and have nothing to do, I decided to work..

My feet are aching and tired. But I'm happy..

Like people say, when we are sincere in whatever we are doing,we will be happy :)

So,be sincere..Niat kte tu penting...

The fuss~

I read some nasty comments about teachers on this one blog and one group in FB was one of the victim of condemnation coz well,the group's members are teachers.

I don't want to draw any negative remark on this post nor I want to offend anybody. This is seriously and purely a view from my perspective as a person and a teacher.

People always have this view and think that being a teacher is an easy job. Keje setengah hari..Ajar budak2 n semak buku jek. Cuti sekolah,cikgu pon cuti..Seriously, before I went into this profession,I had that perception too..But try to be one and u will know why..

Teachers don't work half day..A normal school hours,say 7.30-1.15..A teacher has to be in school before 7.20..A teacher must not go back exactly at 1.15..See,some school has its own policy..Some can only go back at 1.30..And please calculate how many hours a teacher works..Is it half day? Please define half day? How about co-curricular activities?

See, a teacher's job nowadays is not purely just for educating the students..Don't ask me if I know abt before bcoz I'm not that old to know how the system worked back then..A teacher nowadays has to do a lot of paperworks..Record,TOV,Headcounts etc..We have to prepare our Daily Lesson Plan before we can actually enter our class..We have to prepare our materials..

If u think teaching is an easy job like giving a lecture, u are wrong..We have to make sure 30 students or even more to understand..We have to discipline them at the same time. We have to make sure they enjoy the class..We have to deal with different kind of behaviour..And we are not given only 1 class..A teacher will be given,say,3 classes?? For 1 subject,lets say for English,there will be 5 periods altogether in a week..A teacher will be given not 1 subject to be taught..You must teach at least 2 subjects and most of the times u must teach more than 1 class...U do the math..

I don't want to stress on the curricular activities bcoz there are paperworks that we have to deal with..We just don't go and watch them play..And yes,we have to attend courses too..

And marking exam papers are never easy..It is tiring..And yes,we are given dateline. And if u are in charge of data,u have to prepare the graph, the percentage etc..

If u are on the management level,the Penolong Kanan,Guru Besar,Pengetua etc, ur working hours are longer..Imagine managing ur teachers and students and other staffs as well..

See, I never look down on other people's job coz I know every job has its own difficulties but I just think it is wrong for people to think a teacher's job is easy..People may argue that a teacher's salary is high but the job is easy..It's totally wrong..It comes with a lot of responsibilities..

A teacher also has annual leave. We are not on holiday even though it's school holiday..We must go to the school if the management ask us to. We cannot say no bcoz the school holiday is meant for the pupils..

Sometimes, we just don't have enough time to settle our works at school..We have to bring it home bcoz at school we are so bz with the teaching stuffs,the meetings and all..Btw,the meetings must not be done during school hours..It must be done b4 or after..

A teacher is a human being too..Sometimes,we have to do other people's work..The new or young teacher will always been given more works or assign to help other people's works..I know bcoz I went through that while I was a GSTT and when I was a trainee..

I would be lying if I say I never complained bcoz I'm just a normal human being who can feel tired,stress and angry at times. But that doesn't mean I'm not sincere in what I'm doing. I love my job. I really do.

I understand why some teachers feel angry and tell their dissatisfaction coz I know how hard it is..Of course there are some teachers who only just whine and feel they should not do this and that..I never say they are not exist..But most of us are sincere doing what we are doing. If u never have this passion, u can't be a teacher.Seriously.

I remembered when I was a trainee..I was assigned to go for a camping. Actually, I should not involve in this kind of activity bcoz I should be in charge of other society thus it was totally out of my jurisdiction. I could not say no bcoz it seemed I had no choice.( I only found out that trainee could not be involved outdoor activity bcoz of the college's regulation later on) I was so pissed. I had tons of assignments,worksheets and observations..I could not voice out my frustration. I had to travel a long way to the camping site and I was not entitled to claim anything coz I'm not a staff yet. My weekend just went on like that I went back with aching back and tired. And I was expected to teach like usual. I cried coz it was really tiring and it was stressful. At that time,I was so glad that I'm still single.

It's not a matter of help or sincere.It's just normal for a teacher to just whine sometimes.I don't know why people will condemn teachers when they are complaining about their workloads etc? I had seen lots of people voiced out their frustration abt their works,gossiping,lashed out at their boss,whining etc but people never seem to condemn their action..

I have full respect to other jobs as well but to have negative perception to the teaching profession? It's wrong. It's a hard work.It comes with a lot of responsibilities.

Of EGO and LOVE

I read one article from The Sun one day..Actually Mom asked me to read it and it IS good..Somehow,the article really touch my heart..

It touched on ego and love..I'm just going to tell a bit on the article on my opinion on it..

Of ego..What do u think? Everyone has one. But according to this man, if u ask him what is the secret of its success, here's his reply---->Do u have EGO? If u do,throw it out to the window..Then u will succeed..The man is the Malaysia's richest man, Mr. Robert Kuok..

 What he meant was that HUMBLE is the key..

No matter how high our position is,we must never forget our roots. We must not look down on people. And he's right..what's in an ego?This is the mentality of people nowadays and believe it or not, EGO can kill u..Why can't we accept our fault or weaknesses when it's actually true that we are wrong and weak? Why can't we accept when people criticize us? Why can't we accept other people's idea? Why must we look down on people when we are in higher position? Why? Well, a lot of why there,isn't it?huhu..Well,tepuk dada tanya selera..

What's in a position that make u feel u are eligible to insult or look down on people? In fact in Islam, what matters is not your position but your deeds..amal jariah cukup ke? amal ibadat kte cukup? that what differs us from the others..God gives us success not for us to become a snob..Pastu bila Allah SWT tarik balik, baru nak mengeluh dan menyesal..hmm..lagi pun, even though u are the PRESIDENT,even a secretary, a clerk and even cleaner is a part of ur success..so frens..just don't look down on people..

Lagi pun, sometimes, when people criticize us,that means we still have our weaknesses..Why don't we take it positively and improve ourselves?

Back to the Mr-throw out-ur ego-to-the-window...what really touched my heart was this..Even though his mom passed away long time ago (He's 80++,mind u), he still miss his mom..It was his mom's advice that he holds dearly and that,for him,contributed to his success..

The writer also mentioned about this one businessman (he didn't mention his name,btw), If u still don't get ur mom's blessing,then ask for it..coz without it, u will never make it..Mom's blessing is the most important thing for ur success..

Even Tony Fernandes, the AirAsia big guy..He told a story on how his late mom would travel using MAS bcoz it was her favourite airline..and according to the writer,he felt,actually,Mr Fernandes felt his mom will be so happy to know that his son finally get to run the airline that his mom preferred..

A mom's love knows boundaries..I love my mom even though sometimes I feel she's the most annoying mom in the world..As a woman myself, I know what it feels like should I have my own children..Being a mother is the most precious gift..To have a kid in ur womb,to endure the pain of giving birth which is the battle of live and death,to feed,to educate,to grow a child..A mother is the most amazing person in the world..

A mother will never hate her children no matter how evil he is..A mother will always stand by her children no matter how poor her kids are..A mother will not think twice to save her children's life..

A mother never ask for anything in return except to see her kids are happy and healthy.

So,put aside ur ego..Even Nabi Muhammad SAW taught us to be humble..

And love our Mom..U know,my mom would call me everyday when I was not at home. And it would be more than once. And she still calls my brother when he's not at home. I used to hate it before,but I appreciate it later on bcoz I'm lucky that I can still hear her voice and bcoz I know she loves me. My fren told me once, she never called her mom..She only talked to her mom in like once in 3 days..And she regretted it later on when her mom passed away..

Though my frens would laugh and mock that Mom would call everyday, I didn't give a damn bcoz I know that I was lucky that my Mom called.

I know how it feels like..the pain of not being able to listen to the person that u miss so much..u can just remember and remember..and it IS painful..

So,appreciate people around us especially our family coz we never know when we will ever see or listen to their voice again..

It's CHOCalicious time Y(^_^)Y

I must admit that I really like desserts. Cakes, to be exact. Kalo tak ingatkan penyakit dan berat badan memang keje nak mkn jek.hehe..Tak dapat makan pun,cuci mata pon jadi la :p

What is your favourite cake???hehe

For me?? numero uno----> Cheesecakes!!!! owh..and Black Forest too..hehe

Chocolate?Okay la but not really a favourite of mine..But then, as long as it is delicious and yummy and ho chiak, I don't mind though.Hehehe :p

Have u tasted this kind of cheesecake that is like butter cake but it's cheese. I prefer that compared to the New York Cheesecake type coz it's not that heavy (in texture,that is). My mom bought it from this bakery at KLCC (if I'm not mistaken la since it was so many years ago) and we like it. It was quite expensive for a slice of it. It's a Japanese cake shop if I'm not mistaken. Mom would buy it when we went there again until we found out that the shop had been closed and we rarely went back to KL (dah jarang balik cmne nak gi KLCC,ye x?) So,one day, Mom found out a recipe from a column in the NST from Betty Yew. Mom tried on the recipe and voila, same jek mcm yang beli tu..hehe..Well, a bit different la coz the ones that we bought was kinda light in texture whereas the one that Mom did was a bit heavier but still lighter in texture compared to the ordinary cheesecakes.

Secret Recipe's cakes are good but I can still remember the cheesecakes from Dave's Deli. When Carrefour Seberang Jaya was opened, there was this one Dave's Deli outlet. At that time, the foods are not that expensive.Now??? hmmm..Ok..tu citer lain..So, there was this tea time promos where u would get free coffee for every purchase of its cheesecake,of course..Seriously,u guys..mmg sedap..Sooo cheesy..macam aiskrim punye keras..Makan sket pon dah rase puas sgt2 and we shared it with 3 persons ok~ And the slice was like sooo big compared to the slice size nowadays..sigh~

Btw,enough with this my favourite-cake-story (ni la padah when I just can't stop writing,er,typing :p)

Actually, this post is to show u the cupcakes that we baked for our beloved adik who loves chocolate~ We tried on this recipe from The Big Book of Baking that Mom bought from a book fair-in a ship..a big ship ok..hehe..The book is really good. It has recipes on cakes,biscuits and breads together with some tips on baking. (o0o0oppss...menyimpang lagi..hehe :p)

So, Mom chose to bake Chocolate Molten Cake. The cake is kinda hard in texture and it has chocolate sauce in the inside but then ours were not that sauce-like coz Mom put on chocolate chips instead of chocolate bar (ssh nak potong ok~) but then we realised that maybe we should put more chips in it. So,mom decided to put some chocolate butter cream on the cakes.

Me :   Nape macam keras jek, xmacam buttercream pon..
Mak : Butter kurangla dah butter hbs..Icing sugar byk dari butter..
Me :   o0o0o...
Mak : Lagi pon,nak byk2 butter buat ape? lagi gemuk adela..
Me :   *dush

Btw, from the book, I learned how to make the icing mcm yg org dok jual online tu...xsusah pon rupe2nye..hehe..

So, our cakes does not fare well enough in the decoration department. Nampak mcm xsedap pon. But then, just don't judge the book by its cover ya..

The cupcakes-fresh from the oven

The cakes-zoom mode (somehow,i suke tgk ade crack kat cakes tu.hehe)

The cupcakes with icings on top

Hehehe. Yummylicious~ (is there such a word? :p )

See?? the not so chocolate sauce :p

 But then, the cake is rich in chocolate. Since I just love cakes, regardless of it is chocolate,since it's yummy, so, I just like it. Hehehe..

Btw, this few years, I mean, lately la..tp bkn baru sgt pon..I feel that I do like to bake..and cook too..hehehe

Well,anak mak la katekan :)

Lagi pon, call me old fashioned..pompuan still kene pndai masak..haha!!

Debt aka Hutang

Do u have debts??No??? Unless if u are a baby and those aged 18 and below la kot or u are just plain lucky...huhuh...

I'm called to write on this issue bcoz a friend of mine just asked regarding the conversion from 3% to 1% for PTPTN loan. She asked me what is my opinion on the conversion.

My opinion? Of course la SUKE!!!!!

The reason, er, reasons are :

1. The whole loan will be recalculated. So all the current amount due (which is inclusive of the 3% admin fee) will be void...
2. Since the debt will be lesser thus ----> cepat habis bayar la kan?? hehe

My friend said she was not keen with the method of payment where the payment will be deducted from our monthly salary coz the payment slip will not be that cantik if u want to apply for housing loan and lari budget since tiap2 bulan byr sket jek...

Hmm...ok,this is PURELY my personal opinion ya..jangan datang serang lak...but comments are welcomed ok..

For me, I'm happy. In fact I was dead worried why my application for the conversion was still not approved (tp dah approved dh skrg..hehe) coz u know why? I have 2 study loans (Diploma and Degree). If the interest rate stays at 3%,mmg jenuh nak byr..so I'm really happy with the conversion.

I like the deduction from the salary method coz I won't forget to pay the debt..If possible,kalo menang loteri ke hadiah tunai ke (btw,lottery is strictly wrong in Islam ya..Itu adalah perumpamaan semata2 :p ), memang macam nak bayar sume hutang balik...Though I never fail to pay the debt every month when I was working, for me,it's like a nuisance to go to the bank to pay and not forgetting the commissions u have to pay. Tolak gaji xyah bayar komisyen.hehe.If for every payment u have to pay RM1 regardless of how many u pay la kan, RM1 X 12 months?? isk,sket2 pon leh beli nasik tu...hohoho

For me, I prefer to settle my debt as soon as possible..But then,subject to our financial situation la kan..hehe..

In fact, in Islam, we are advised to settle our debt and if possible stay out of debt..coz if we die and we still have unsettled debts, our next of kin have to settle them..

And I remembered this one person said few years back while I was just a fresh graduate, ala,hutang PTPTN tu xkan habis bayar punye..baik byr rm50 cmtu je tiap2 bulan bg nmpk..

Hmm,personally, this is what I think---> Ko pndai hutang pastu ko xnak byr? dahtu yg ko gi hutang sape suh..kalo byr takat rm50 tu pon kdg2 x selalu byr,mmg la xkan hbs byr..dgn 3% reducing balance method tu..mmgla...hape la~~~

Seriously, this is the mentality of some person.. I don't know why..Youngsters nowadays always take things for granted ( i pon youngster gak okay~hehe) A lot of people aged 35 years old and below are being declared bankrupt coz of their inability to settle their debt ESPECIALLY credit card debt..hmm..ni 1 lagi prob hutang..

I don't know why but I'm not really a fan of this card. Well,of coz it has its pros too ie nak bayar barang harga ribu2 ke..(xkan nak bawak cash?igt dunia ni aman dari perompak dah ke skrg?psl duit ciput pon leh bunuh2..) Seriously,for me,if u can afford to pay using cash,then if possible,avoid having one..coz the temptation to overspend is there..yela..kalo xcukup duit---> xpe,credit card kan ade...nnt kte byrla blk..pastu tgk2 xcukup duit nak bayar..tangguh2 kene bayar lebih2 lg...xkire yearly fee and other fees yg korg xtau..huhuhu...then when u can't settle the debt after countless memos---> BANKRUPTCY

When u are declared as a bankrupt, hmm...enjoyla all the disadvantages...sume susah...lagi2 yg muda2 ni..segala loan xleh buat..nak mtk keje pon org pk byk kali..

U know, I don't care if people said I ni kedekut ke ape coz for me, I'm just planning my wealth. Nak ckp aku ni dekut xnak shopping ke ape ke,ikut aku la kan..Dahtu,kalo ssh,ko nak tolong bagi duit ke?

I remembered this 1 lady,when I was studying in IPG. Dengan suara punya kuat dan mmg niat nak memalukan la kan minah ni---> Ko ni,Juita..skali skala belanja la ktorg mkn. Nak naik keta ko punye ssh. Asyik kat maktab jek. Bwk la ktorg g jln2.

Kalo xikutkan hati dan cucukan syaitan,memang I bagi free jek but since I treat her as a FREN, I jwb lemah lembut jela ckp aku xde duit la..

Tapi dalam hati---> Apsal la aku yang kena blanje lak? Aku rase elaun aku same jek mcm ko. Aku xde bf tlg support mcm ko. Siap ade 2 laki nak tlg support. Ko igt aku xde hutang ke? Kete aku tu isi air ke nak bg gerak? Ko nak tolong bagi duit servis ke? Ko igt aku ni teksi nak bwk gi jalan2?? Banyak cantik???? Aku bwk kete pon psl praktikal la..ceyt...dah ko keje nak jalan2 jek,xyah dtg blaja,bwk kete sendiri,gi la jalan2 smpai puas..

Haih...sometimes,people like to say things without using their brain..pastu bsg2 xde duit la hape..

O0o0o0pppsss...dah jauh menyimpang lak..hehe

So,the conclusion is, try to be debt-free..and settle ur debt...Kte yg hutang,kte bayar...Tak baik kan,kte dah xde nnt,ditanye dalam kubur...dan susahkan waris2 kte...

Until then. nite nite :)

(p/s: do comment if there's any mistake ya..n on the cuppies post...later la..hehe...tgh mls nk upload gbr :p)

What a day~

Hehehe...this post will be a hort one coz I'm freaking tired..Pagi2 dah kene kejut utk paksaan jogging n then went to Queensbay Mall since today is JCard Member's Sales..As always, tried on a handful of clothes but buy nothing..hehe :p

The other reason why I'm still tired bcoz yesterday my mum n I made some cupcakes. Tp biase2 jek..xleh lwn Mr Gadgetginger punye lg..but then,I prefer muffins to cuppies..ntah,dah suke muffin. Vanilla muffin wif raisins..fuyyooo...hohoho..I will post on the cuppies later coz I'm tired,my leg is aching and tomorrow we are going to visit my lil adik.hehe..lil ke?

When we are going to visit him, my mom will cook very early and will be the sous chef gitu..hehe..tukang bungkus ala2 kat kedai mamak lg tau~

So,tomorrow will be a bz day n tiring day coz I will be driving n surely I will be pengsan during the nite..so,laterla I post on the cuppies..kalo I rajin,I post la...hohoho...

Btw,have a nice weekend ya..Jangan overexcited lak...

Assalamualaikum :)