Hello..Who are you??

Salam..

By the power of magic, I managed to read some nasty comments and critics about me. (giler poyo ayt magic..hehe) Well, it's not that I don't accept criticism..but when it became 'fitnah' that one is totally intolerable..

Hmm.. Dalam hidup ni kan, tak pernah terfikir nak burukkan org lg2 yang pernah kita syg..So, when I knew that I was accused lots of things, I must say, I am sad..

Tak sangka kan, orang mengata dan memfitnah benda yg xbetul? Lagi2 bila kita xde peluang pun nak bela diri atau bgtau our side of the story..

Only me, him and Allah SWT know the truth..Tapi xpela..nak buat cmne kan..I forgive them.coz I'm hoping I can get my own happiness rather than holding grudge about them..

Well,that is not the story that I want to share..Tu baru mukadimah..hehe..Yeah,they are related but different a bit..

Okay..Siapakah kita nak judge org lain? nak nilai kita ni layak atau tidak? As for me, I'm so pissed if people question or say ----> cmnela dier leh jd cikgu dh perangai cmtu?

Excusez-moi~eyh..French lak tetibe..hehe..Excuse me, who are u to judge me? Are u in the same line as I am? Do u KNOW me? You ARE listening from the one side of story and that qualifies you to judge me what kind of teacher am I?

Call me anything but CAN you be a teacher? Out of many profession, I CHOSE to be a teacher bcoz of what?

You all must be thinking why I got pissed bcoz of this.. I AM..bcoz nobody will understand the joy n happiness that I feel of being one..

Ko nak kutuk aku xkesahla..nak fitnah ke hape..tu dosa ko..tapi to judge me?

Do you know how I cracked myself up just to make sure they can read? How happy I am to know that they can do it? How I laugh at them when they do something silly?

I'm teaching at a Tamil school..It is hard but I'm holding on. And I learned that no matter what colour they are, they are still children and I love them..The love of a TEACHER to her kids..u won't understand it..I might forget them or they might forget me..but the hopes that I have for them is limitless..

So, don't judge me..Well,org lain pun xyah la korg nak nilai..setiap pekerjaan ada kbaikan n keburukan..even tukg amik smpah pon sama..korg nak ke wat keje cmtu kalo dorg xde? xde kan?

So, who are we to judge people..xpela..janji niat kita betul..budak2 pon leh rasa kalo kita ikhlas..

I am a teacher..So what?

A man full of ego part 2~

I AM an observer. I like to observe people and it is interesting to see how idiot a man or woman can be sometimes. Well,in a way,it is good to observe people and learn more about them since psychologically, we can't act 24/7..In a way,sometimes even body languages can mean something.

Now let's look..From a woman's point of view, I really can't understand men. In a way though I can understand,it can be very confusing coz they can change in a blink of eye..

But for me, is ego plays a big part in a man's life? For example, during the get-to-know-u-session..A man is interested with a woman. So,the  ice-breaking session begins..later,the man realised she's not his type..So,he just ignore her after all the constant msgs and calls...and sometimes it ends up abruptly.. For me,it's not wrong..But as a person, can't u be more compassionate a bit? U gave person some hopes and u left her without any explanation..And mind u,if the gal asks him,the guy might answer in a very demeaning way..

Talking about ego,yeah..It's NOT that women don't have ego..Everybody has.It's just the matter of how high your ego can get u. If people criticised u but u can't accept it.That's ego..If u can't accept other people's point of view,that's ego too..It is just the matter of acceptance.

From my observation as a woman to kids..Well,as a woman,it's natural to have the motherly instinct..With my job, I get to be surrounded by kids. And it's hard not to get pissed. But it's hard not to laugh and smile too.. I remembered trying hard not to laugh at them coz they mispronounced some words. I smile when a boy tried hard to tell me what he saw the other day..Isn't it great to be a mom? I think it's great..And I would be lying to say I don't want to be one coz I do. I want to be one real bad. But then, how am I going to be one without a man??hehehe

Life is interesting,isn't it? How we can be so idiot at times. A man can be a total idiot thinking that woman is not meant for him only to realise that she is the one..The same goes to the woman.

As for me, I made mistakes. And it hurts like hell. I'm trying to get rid of the ego but of course we can't.So I'm just trying to lessen it up. I used to be an introvert but now, I think Im being more extrovert in a way..Is age plays a big role?hmmm...Perhaps being an extrovert can cheer me up in a way but still it can't change this pessimist gal into an optimist person..hohoho..Well, it seems today's entry is not about a man's ego after all huh?hehe..

So,I am trying to be happy. I am trying to accept some facts. I am improving myself.

So what's in an ego?

A man full of ego-part 1

The title is called part 1 coz it seems that I don't have enough time to write longer than 10 sentences (ye ke??hehe)

Yes, everyone has ego but for someone,men,to be specific can be so egoistic to the fact that it just made them look like idiots.

Well, u don't need to do something just to prove something coz it just made u look more like an IDIOT where in fact,it was n is obviously ur fault.

U don't have to say nonsense by confidently said as if u really know what I'd been thinking coz seriously,dude..U r just being an egoistically idiot..

And the most IMPORTANT THING!!! --------------> find a DICTIONARY or if u CAN'T find one, just GOOGLE and search the word EGO!!! (coz seriously,dude,u don't understand a bit of it though u are 1)

So ntahapahapantah!!!

Karang ckp bodossss mrh lak krg tapi terserlah dek konon2 xnak ngaku kalah n xleh trime kenyataan n komen org,lg terserlah kebodossssaann  itew~well,tu bkn ego bak pemahaman org itew


So,what,ego ko tggi melangit?agak2 r mamat..aku pon xhingin laki yg xleh hormat pompuan ~

The new post???hohoho

Salam uols..it has been a while since i updated this blog.I'm posted already by the ministry..It's a small and sleepy town..n its going to get tough to teach the pupils ya...OMG, tekanan wei jd sorang jek cikgu English neh..I was due to report for duty in like 2 days prior the result was out. N since Im yet to receive any salary yet,so no money to have the internet connection for myself..huhu..thus the rusted blog :p Well, though I'm homed during the weekend,I find it’s hard to resist the urge of laziness..laying around,watching tv..gosh,living without tv is so hard ya..I was like sooooo bored when I’m at home in Selama..rewinding all the animes..(nsb la ade,kalo x,keje men game jela..)

So now, in previous post I did mention abt list of items that I wish to buy when I get my salary. U know what? Dalam xde gaji utk berapa bulan ni la hp rosak (hrtu mmg dh ade tanda2 tp ketuk2 sket dier ok blk), handbag rosak etc..haih…

So I got myself a new fon..not really the type of fon that I want since the ones that I prefer are way beyond my budget (xde gaji means xde duit la kan,krg nk mkn ape???)

Okla…patah blk brand same since price wise it’s much cheaper wif the same kind of function like the expensive ones..(tp teringin gak nak pakai blackberry or htc…uwaaa….leh x kalo kawin krg nk mtk hntaran cmtu??fuh fuh…larik sume potensi bakal suami.Wakaka :p)

And handbag…yeah…actually I have 2..the one that Im using now was bought I think this year gak..around March I think..cantik n murah..ehem..RM20 je…tp Giamax okeh..it’s so true that u cant buy items that are given discount too many or best buy yg murah thp gaban…tgk brand la kan..My aunt who is in this sales industry said that those kind of items dh nk expire dh..cpt rosak(she said..not me). I thot I cn survive till next year to buy a new one but the handbag spare ni lg nyawa2 ikan…dush!

And so when I went to buy a new handbag, I thot of buying a cheap one. But in the end, 3keping duit biru gak lps…huhu!!!! Coz dh beli,beli yg elok tros kan?haih…n that was an advice from my advisor aka my MOM!

Dalam xde duit,tetibe my mom showed me dis promotion for face facial…hmm…(b4 dis we chatted abt facial )

Mom asked me  :  Kak nak buat x?

Me                     : Mak buat la.

Mak                    : Xmau.kak buat sorg dahla..(smbil bgtau kat org tu )

Me                      : Ala,mak buat skali la…Akak byrkan…

But then, the result was not that good..Mom bought Kose’s skincare during the Jusco sales n though expensive,trserlah wei!!!!! Ni facial sket jek xde kesan pon…syg duit aku..huhu..

So, the conclusion is, Im soooo broke..haih…monthly bills can’t be stopped and my loan repayment is yet to be done..lame xbyr hutang ptptn tu..hmm…xpe,dpt gaji bayar ye,Juita ..

Psst…ade sape nk sponsor duit tiket wayang twilight x?? wakakaka :p

Working mode!!!

For the 1st time I felt so happy to finally have a job to do...Well,it's a job that is below my qualification and if possible,I don't want to do it..But for the sake of money and have nothing to do, I decided to work..

My feet are aching and tired. But I'm happy..

Like people say, when we are sincere in whatever we are doing,we will be happy :)

So,be sincere..Niat kte tu penting...

The fuss~

I read some nasty comments about teachers on this one blog and one group in FB was one of the victim of condemnation coz well,the group's members are teachers.

I don't want to draw any negative remark on this post nor I want to offend anybody. This is seriously and purely a view from my perspective as a person and a teacher.

People always have this view and think that being a teacher is an easy job. Keje setengah hari..Ajar budak2 n semak buku jek. Cuti sekolah,cikgu pon cuti..Seriously, before I went into this profession,I had that perception too..But try to be one and u will know why..

Teachers don't work half day..A normal school hours,say 7.30-1.15..A teacher has to be in school before 7.20..A teacher must not go back exactly at 1.15..See,some school has its own policy..Some can only go back at 1.30..And please calculate how many hours a teacher works..Is it half day? Please define half day? How about co-curricular activities?

See, a teacher's job nowadays is not purely just for educating the students..Don't ask me if I know abt before bcoz I'm not that old to know how the system worked back then..A teacher nowadays has to do a lot of paperworks..Record,TOV,Headcounts etc..We have to prepare our Daily Lesson Plan before we can actually enter our class..We have to prepare our materials..

If u think teaching is an easy job like giving a lecture, u are wrong..We have to make sure 30 students or even more to understand..We have to discipline them at the same time. We have to make sure they enjoy the class..We have to deal with different kind of behaviour..And we are not given only 1 class..A teacher will be given,say,3 classes?? For 1 subject,lets say for English,there will be 5 periods altogether in a week..A teacher will be given not 1 subject to be taught..You must teach at least 2 subjects and most of the times u must teach more than 1 class...U do the math..

I don't want to stress on the curricular activities bcoz there are paperworks that we have to deal with..We just don't go and watch them play..And yes,we have to attend courses too..

And marking exam papers are never easy..It is tiring..And yes,we are given dateline. And if u are in charge of data,u have to prepare the graph, the percentage etc..

If u are on the management level,the Penolong Kanan,Guru Besar,Pengetua etc, ur working hours are longer..Imagine managing ur teachers and students and other staffs as well..

See, I never look down on other people's job coz I know every job has its own difficulties but I just think it is wrong for people to think a teacher's job is easy..People may argue that a teacher's salary is high but the job is easy..It's totally wrong..It comes with a lot of responsibilities..

A teacher also has annual leave. We are not on holiday even though it's school holiday..We must go to the school if the management ask us to. We cannot say no bcoz the school holiday is meant for the pupils..

Sometimes, we just don't have enough time to settle our works at school..We have to bring it home bcoz at school we are so bz with the teaching stuffs,the meetings and all..Btw,the meetings must not be done during school hours..It must be done b4 or after..

A teacher is a human being too..Sometimes,we have to do other people's work..The new or young teacher will always been given more works or assign to help other people's works..I know bcoz I went through that while I was a GSTT and when I was a trainee..

I would be lying if I say I never complained bcoz I'm just a normal human being who can feel tired,stress and angry at times. But that doesn't mean I'm not sincere in what I'm doing. I love my job. I really do.

I understand why some teachers feel angry and tell their dissatisfaction coz I know how hard it is..Of course there are some teachers who only just whine and feel they should not do this and that..I never say they are not exist..But most of us are sincere doing what we are doing. If u never have this passion, u can't be a teacher.Seriously.

I remembered when I was a trainee..I was assigned to go for a camping. Actually, I should not involve in this kind of activity bcoz I should be in charge of other society thus it was totally out of my jurisdiction. I could not say no bcoz it seemed I had no choice.( I only found out that trainee could not be involved outdoor activity bcoz of the college's regulation later on) I was so pissed. I had tons of assignments,worksheets and observations..I could not voice out my frustration. I had to travel a long way to the camping site and I was not entitled to claim anything coz I'm not a staff yet. My weekend just went on like that I went back with aching back and tired. And I was expected to teach like usual. I cried coz it was really tiring and it was stressful. At that time,I was so glad that I'm still single.

It's not a matter of help or sincere.It's just normal for a teacher to just whine sometimes.I don't know why people will condemn teachers when they are complaining about their workloads etc? I had seen lots of people voiced out their frustration abt their works,gossiping,lashed out at their boss,whining etc but people never seem to condemn their action..

I have full respect to other jobs as well but to have negative perception to the teaching profession? It's wrong. It's a hard work.It comes with a lot of responsibilities.

Of EGO and LOVE

I read one article from The Sun one day..Actually Mom asked me to read it and it IS good..Somehow,the article really touch my heart..

It touched on ego and love..I'm just going to tell a bit on the article on my opinion on it..

Of ego..What do u think? Everyone has one. But according to this man, if u ask him what is the secret of its success, here's his reply---->Do u have EGO? If u do,throw it out to the window..Then u will succeed..The man is the Malaysia's richest man, Mr. Robert Kuok..

 What he meant was that HUMBLE is the key..

No matter how high our position is,we must never forget our roots. We must not look down on people. And he's right..what's in an ego?This is the mentality of people nowadays and believe it or not, EGO can kill u..Why can't we accept our fault or weaknesses when it's actually true that we are wrong and weak? Why can't we accept when people criticize us? Why can't we accept other people's idea? Why must we look down on people when we are in higher position? Why? Well, a lot of why there,isn't it?huhu..Well,tepuk dada tanya selera..

What's in a position that make u feel u are eligible to insult or look down on people? In fact in Islam, what matters is not your position but your deeds..amal jariah cukup ke? amal ibadat kte cukup? that what differs us from the others..God gives us success not for us to become a snob..Pastu bila Allah SWT tarik balik, baru nak mengeluh dan menyesal..hmm..lagi pun, even though u are the PRESIDENT,even a secretary, a clerk and even cleaner is a part of ur success..so frens..just don't look down on people..

Lagi pun, sometimes, when people criticize us,that means we still have our weaknesses..Why don't we take it positively and improve ourselves?

Back to the Mr-throw out-ur ego-to-the-window...what really touched my heart was this..Even though his mom passed away long time ago (He's 80++,mind u), he still miss his mom..It was his mom's advice that he holds dearly and that,for him,contributed to his success..

The writer also mentioned about this one businessman (he didn't mention his name,btw), If u still don't get ur mom's blessing,then ask for it..coz without it, u will never make it..Mom's blessing is the most important thing for ur success..

Even Tony Fernandes, the AirAsia big guy..He told a story on how his late mom would travel using MAS bcoz it was her favourite airline..and according to the writer,he felt,actually,Mr Fernandes felt his mom will be so happy to know that his son finally get to run the airline that his mom preferred..

A mom's love knows boundaries..I love my mom even though sometimes I feel she's the most annoying mom in the world..As a woman myself, I know what it feels like should I have my own children..Being a mother is the most precious gift..To have a kid in ur womb,to endure the pain of giving birth which is the battle of live and death,to feed,to educate,to grow a child..A mother is the most amazing person in the world..

A mother will never hate her children no matter how evil he is..A mother will always stand by her children no matter how poor her kids are..A mother will not think twice to save her children's life..

A mother never ask for anything in return except to see her kids are happy and healthy.

So,put aside ur ego..Even Nabi Muhammad SAW taught us to be humble..

And love our Mom..U know,my mom would call me everyday when I was not at home. And it would be more than once. And she still calls my brother when he's not at home. I used to hate it before,but I appreciate it later on bcoz I'm lucky that I can still hear her voice and bcoz I know she loves me. My fren told me once, she never called her mom..She only talked to her mom in like once in 3 days..And she regretted it later on when her mom passed away..

Though my frens would laugh and mock that Mom would call everyday, I didn't give a damn bcoz I know that I was lucky that my Mom called.

I know how it feels like..the pain of not being able to listen to the person that u miss so much..u can just remember and remember..and it IS painful..

So,appreciate people around us especially our family coz we never know when we will ever see or listen to their voice again..